So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
