Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
