watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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