i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
