Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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