Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
