I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
