Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
May the power of my ass compel you!!
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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