i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
