You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
