you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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