I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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