Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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