For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
