Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
how drunk are you?
Several
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
