So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
