I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
