Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize