reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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