I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
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