Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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