Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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