carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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