Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
