We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
smell my finger.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Is Oprah even human
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
