He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
