I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
