I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
