hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I just googled if crying burns calories
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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