So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
