Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
