I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
