you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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