yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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