You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize