Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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