Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
