so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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