I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
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