I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
