Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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