On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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