Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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