We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
