were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
