Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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