Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
