Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
