I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
