and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
