Why are handjobs necessary in class?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I can't put those talents on a resume
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
