In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
