I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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