she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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