a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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