I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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