hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Naked. naked and bneed help.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
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