I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
your like the ambassador to my penis.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
