This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
