I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I wear drunk well.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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