I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
