don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
