i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Randomize
