you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Randomize