Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
