i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize