what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Randomize
