If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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