Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
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