I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
