M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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