so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
