oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
