Dual....:-)
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Randomize
