i think i have two assholes
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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